‘Anger can get in the way of your ability to be heard by other’s, worse, possibly being dismissed by others because of how you deliver your message.
A good first step is to monitor your anger levels by recognizing the types of thoughts and self talk you are experiencing. Self talk is a powerful indicator of how you might be handling anger in relationships.
Ask yourself if any of these thoughts below are part of your internal dialogue?
- “I wouldn’t get angry if she/he didn’t make me upset ”……….
- “If I just agree with their point of view it won’t escalate into a bigger problem”……..
- “I’ll keep a low profile at home and stay at work longer, maybe go out after work to drink with coworkers”
- ” My co-worker understands my anger, I’ll talk to them about my problems
- “Why doesn’t my partner know how overwhelmed I am?”
- “What do I have to do around here to get acknowledged for the things I do?”
- “Really? If she would just stop nagging me, things would be fine, she’s the problem”….
- “What’s the big deal, I just had a few drinks, just because my partner doesn’t drink why does she/he have to put that on me?”
If you are having these types of thoughts, you may think you are not angry at all. However, these common thoughts can be part and parcel of underlying anger. Most people will express anger in ways that escalate a fight. This is a common approach and can work for a long time, months even years.
Anger is a normal emotion, it is what you do with the anger that will cause life to become unmanageable .
Managing anger, especially within your relationship, is more about understanding the emotions underlying your anger. If you are angry and keep using anger as your primary fuel to manage your life, things can get complicated.
What’s that famous quote? : the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result.
If anger is your primary response to problems, let’s talk about how we can help.
The most likely consequence of doing nothing about your situation? Eventually your anger can seep into your life without realizing it until it guides every aspect of your decision making and relationships with important people at work and home. It can also be a symptom of anxiety or depression which can lead to low self confidence.
Anger Management Counseling can turn things around in your relationships by starting with you. Identifying your triggers and what to do with them is a key ingredient. We work alongside you to build the skills you need to be an effective communicator.
So if you are ready to re-think your strategy for dealing with anger and adopt more successful, healthy ways of doing things, call now to set an appointment for our short term solution focused counseling.
While we make no promises of how you will handle your anger after we work together, we do feel very confident that you will walk away from our time together (usually 6-12 meetings) feeling more positive, in control and empowered to manage your emotions, including anger.
What changes in your life when you learn and use anger management strategies? Most people we work with report a better sense of control in their life, feeling empowered to communicate, decrease in stress and overall better relationships with family.
- learn to have more calm, meaningful conversations with a partner or co-worker
- be skilled at standing up for yourself while respecting those around you.
- understand the importance of self compassion
- be more skilled at listening to others with out solving their problems
- no more suffering in silence, wishing someone could understand how you feel
- feel more confident in your ability to articulate feelings and other’s behaviors which upset you.
We provide a safe place to be angry and learn other ways of expressing your anger to have a healthier life. If you are ready to get started send a confidential email now.